missed wordle

I didn’t get the wordle this morning, so I already assumed it would be a hard day.

I opened the door to walk Liza and it was snowing/raining. Super. Exactly the type of weather I needed today. I was walking and I tripped over a pile of snow covered leaves. I haven’t lost my balance in a few months or so. I laid on the ground for a minute or so and just cried. I was so disappointed in myself. With tear-filled eyes, I gathered my airpods off the ground and continued on the walk.

Earlier this month I got to meet my niece for the first time. She is absolutely beautiful. I remember when I first was diagnosed with the second tumor back in March/April, I didn’t know if I would still be alive for her birth. At night when I couldn’t sleep back in the spring, I would try to think of things I could do to help Charlotte remember me in case I didn’t make it. I wanted her to know who I was and how much I already loved her. Finally holding her remembering all this was such a full circle moment.

Last night I hosted a girls night. It was so nice of my friends to drive to Woodbury, given that most of them live on the west side of the cities. Being around all my friends made life feel normal for a moment. It was nice.

One brain cancer side effect that impacts me a lot in group settings is how difficult it can be to formulate sentences and articulate my thoughts. Often, those around me will be discussing something and i’ll think of a point to add to the conversation. More often than trying to express whatever it is, I’ll keep the thought to myself because the act of articulating my thoughts seems too challenging. This feels really isolating and I end up not contributing much to a conversation. I’m trying to work on this, I suppose time passing will help, at least I hope it does

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